Monday, June 12, 2006

Week Two of Breast Cancer

Since I got my diagnosis so far it hasn't rained. In fact it's beautiful and I've asked Connie (our cleaner) to water the plants in pots today. But yet again I'm indoors, at a computer updating my blog. But there is a lovely water feature in the Fulham Haven (where I am exploiting their facilities at the moment) and I've been here all day.

It's an old church with a beautiful stained glass window someone gave. The Haven itself was set up by a rich woman as she decided her nanny wasn't getting enough support on the NHS. It's only ten years old and it's great.

I've been keeping incredibly upbeat - probably the least depressed I've been in the last six years. Amazing how if your life suddenly may be in danger you actually start to appreciate it. The room we had our meditation and relaxation sessions in was the same temperature as a glass oven, but even so I went back there early from lunch as the other 'contestants' (I do feel like I'm on some bizarre game show where we all want each other to survive) starting comparing notes on chemotherapy which didn't sound like the summery picnic I'm enjoying at the moment. They're thrusting a healthy diet on us like there's no tomorrow, but at the moment I'm fattening myself up for surgery. For lunch we had rice salad followed by some stange stuff they claimed was cake with strawberries. Dairy and soya are no-nos.

I feel like a world expert on meditation after just one week, people were scribbling down the book I'm using (John Hudson - Meditation). Mum's best friend Elspeth said it the cancer couldn't have happened at a worse time, but I think it couldn't have happened at a better time. It's early summer for a start, I had learnt meditation already, I'm an Expert Patient volunteer tutor, just got engaged, my fiancee is a surgeon of all things and Work is actually Hell itself.

The methodists are praying for me, the Catholics are asking for my forgiveness, the Jews are gesticulating (or whatever they do) the Church of England are letting me go round their graveyards, The Baptists are also praying for me and the Seventh Day adventists. The Muslims are praying for peace on my behalf. The Atheists are getting angry and the agnostics are asking a load of questions. I'm trying everything. No stone will be unturned (literally - I was on my tummy getting stones out of Mum's stream in the garden for my new engagement/recouperation water feature present). Surgery a week on Thursday (22nd June).

Love to all


Jo said...

The Jews are feeling guilty that their own breast lumps turned out to be benign when yours didn't. That's what we do best.

tatton said...

No, it's the Catholics who wallow in guilt. They love it.

I'm an anarchist and there's as many varieties of us as there are us so we're definitely irresponsible (the opposite of being or feeling guilty). We love that and it's better than feeling guilty. I would recommend it.

As a heroin addict said to me once 'You've got a lot of choices'. And I'm planning to make a lot more. But Freedom, Love and Equality are ideals - your only choice is which ideal is yours.

Then Life is the journey to the ideal, what the outcome is no one knows, but we all need to enjoy the trip.

Rachel said...

Dear Anna
It's a rainy afternoon in tropical island paradise, so I log on to your blog for the first time in ages and what do I find? Engagement, redundancy AND cancer all on the first page! Good grief girl you've been busy. Really happy to hear that you're getting hitched and of course not at all happy to hear about the rest. I'll be thinking of you this week and will keep checking the blog for updates. I know that nice man of yours will be taking care of you.
Lots of love
Rachel x

tatton said...

Thanks Rachel. Hope you're still enjoying yourself over there! Will keep you posted x All is fine at the moment, but will be dealing with the op - although I'm totally open about pain relief! Then radiotherapy - but at least it's time off work in the sunshine!