Saturday, September 24, 2005

Reclaiming fplogging and plogging: The quest for significance ahead of irrelevance and coincidence

I may not have invented any words in my lifetime, but I do think that language needs to be reclaimed by people who are not saddos. For example, splogging is a good one - those idiots advertising silly things on blogs. But fplogging seems to have been conquered by computer geeks (name of a computer programme). Pflogging is better - it seems to be slightly more controversial (language within software, not owned by anyone). Plogging is also good - political blogging. But I'm a female political blogger. A Fplogger.

Fploggers of the world unite.

Friday, September 23, 2005

What I do want

Phil - I don't think this can wait until bday/xmas. Can we get one of these?

Trotsky is still alive and loves Marmite!

The subtitle of this message could read 'Do members of the Socialist Workers Party have a sense of humour?' and the answer to that question is (and I'm very sorry to say this) No.

But Trotsky (our k*tten) is gorgeous. Marmite is lovely too (our other k*tten). One day I will gain the technical skills (Phil, hope you're reading this) to load photos on to the web. Until then the readers of this blog will have to imagine two beautiful small female cats - Trotsky; black and white, Marmite; black, causing mayhem. Yes, the stuff coming from their bottoms has led to a few swearwords on this blog, but heh, it's 2005! 'Plurality of provision' as Tony Blair and Patricia Hewitt would say.

A list of Christmas and Birthday gifts that I may not accept

1) cat faeces
2) A porn video starring Michael Winner, Les Dennis and Sir Nigel Crisp
3) a packet of crisps from Iceland
4) Songs of Praise DVD
5) men's briefs
6) 'The Third Reich' by Mr Adolf Hitler
7) 'The Third Way' by Mr Anthony Giddens
8) a large bowler hat
9) Subscription to the spectator/economist/daily mail/evening standard

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Does anyone else communicate with their boyfriend using their blog?

I'm sure somebody somewhere must be doing a phD on 'Women, IT and communication'. Hopefully now my blog can be a small part of it.

Anyway, to answer your concerns regarding 'other men' and the internet, Phil, I think the odds of me finding a suitable 'boyfriend' on the internet are about 3 billion to one. You don't need to be a brain surgeon, or even a phd student in neuroscientific surgical skills to work that one out. As you know and I'm sure your parents would testify (even if mine wouldn't) - I'm very fussy. And anyway, we're now 'attached'. As you can no doubt remember, you live here. Quite how I'd slip Scott from Ohio into the flat without you noticing, I'm not sure.

With regards to the Xmas/Bday present issue, I'd love any gift you gave me.

Love is the greatest gift of all. xxx

Friday, September 16, 2005

NEWSFLASH - I have not invented the word splogger

Does apathy cause anarchy or does anarchy cause apathy - does anyone care?

Mum, Dad and Phil: I don't want christmas or birthday presents this year, just comments on my blog

And if you don't put comments on here then I'll start putting comments on here myself - about you!

Seriously though aren't those spam bloggers irritating - are they called sploggers? Mention the k word and they start trying to sell you candles bizarrely. I wonder if the sploggers have identified 'small cats' as a key word.

I can't really be bothered to write something every day, or even every week, or on an annual basis, if nobody's going to read it (and comment on it) to be quite honest. What's the point?

The other idea I thought of doing was emailing my address book to let them know I was doing a blog and get some comments that way, but then I remembered the time I emailed a story and poems I wrote when I went on holiday once and practically caused a riot in the caribbean.

As far as I'm concerned communication is a two way process and this is very one way at the moment. I ask a few questions, and the general public, including my parents and boyfriend ignore me. Anarchy, apathy. Easily confused.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Careers advice

When I worked at Hackney Council we got this free little publication called 'Opportunities' full of jobs for people in benefits and fraud offices. On the second page in was a section called 'Six ways to...' in green. I really loved the tips and collected them every week, building up a book of strategies to do things to do with my job. One day it was 'Six ways to achieve success'. The first answer was 'define success for yourself'. Interesting. The problem is that what you think of as successful changes over time. I've decided today that it's knowing someone who's been part of a sociological experiment. Of course tonight the person who I knew as 'Councillor Neil Hughes' is going to be on 49up as 'Neil'. He was a good councillor and stuck up for all the old people who were being evicted by ITnet (the privatised housing benefit service). Wonderful, that the universe is such a huge place yet humanity and beauty still excel on such a small scale.